Stupid Passenger Grouch

How is it that regular riders on a half dozen consecutive stops today couldn't manage to operate the rear doors on an Orion hybrid?

Stupid passenger: "Back door!" Bangs on door. Door doesn't open.

Adjacent passenger: "Just hold your hand there." Door opens.

Next stop.

Stupid passenger #2: "Back door! The back door won't open!" Bangs on door. Door doesn't open.

Adjacent passenger: "Put your hand on it." Door opens.

Next stop.

Stupid passenger #3: "Back door! Open the back door!" Bangs on door. Door doesn't open.

Adjacent passenger: "It won't open if you bang on it. Hold your hand there."

And so on.

Muni was, of course, foolish in calculating that Muni riders would be intelligent enough to operate an assortment of door opening mechanisms. But then again, a rat would have no difficulty learning to operate two different types of doors as long as it received a sufficient stimulation of its reward center upon success. So what is it going to take to straighten out these otherwise high-functioning* passengers? Do we need to install hoppers of food pellets at bus stops?

Good news: Today's driver filled up the bus.

*Remember, what "high-functioning" means to psychologists and behavioralists is more along the lines of "generally does not drop trou in meetings" than "got Ph.D. at age of 16."